12/13/04 - "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your
mouth shut." - Ernest Hemingway

12/20/04 - "Money doesn't always bring happiness. People with ten million dollars are no
happier than people with nine million dollars." - Hobart Brown

12/27/04 - "Life is like a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat."
- Johnny Brownn

1/3/05 - "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." - Douglas
Adams

1/10/05 - "Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself." - A. H. Weilers

1/17/05 - "Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy." -
Robert Anthony

1/24/05 - "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." Voltaire

1/31/05 - "Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment."
- Barry LePatner

2/7/05 - "Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular
duties."- Doug Larson

2/14/05 - "Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead." - James
Thurber

2/21/05 - "The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."- Lily Tomlin

2/28/04 - "He who lives by hope will die by hunger."- Italian Proverb

3/7/04 - "You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if
you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance." -Edward Flaherty

3/14/05 - "If you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured, it may never arrive.
Mountains will not be climbed, races won, or lasting happiness achieved."- Maurice Chevalier

3/21/05 - "When some guy walks in and smacks the back of your favorite head up against a
bathroom wall and asks if you have paid your due's, you just remember what old Jack Burton
says at a time like this. Have you paid your due's? Yes sir, the check is in the mail." - Jack
Burton, Big Trouble In Little China

3/28/05 - "If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask?
Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?"- Scott Adams

4/4/05 - "The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. "- Hunter S. Thompson

4/11/05 - "It's a dangerous business going out your front door."- J. R. R. Tolkien, The
Fellowship of the Ring

4/18/05 - "I gotta go where there ain't any snow
Where there ain't any blow
'Cause my fin sinks so low
I gotta go where it's warm"
- Jimmy Buffett, "Boat Drinks"

4/25/05 - "Confusion is always the most honest response."- Marty Indik

5/2/05 - "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."- Henny Youngman

5/9/05 - "America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a
speed record getting there." - Laurence J. Peter

5/16/05 - "...So I'm heading out to the highway
I got nothin' to lose at all
I'm goin' to do it my way
Take a chance before I fall
A chance before I fall..."
- Judas Priest, "Heading Out To The Highway"

5/23/05 - "The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the
morning and does not stop until you get into the office." - Robert Frost

5/30/05 - "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull
not to charge because you are a vegetarian." - Unknown

6/6/05 - "If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door."- Paul Beatty

6/13/05 - "Sanity is a one trick pony -- all you have is rational thought. But when you're good
and loony, the sky's the limit!" The Tick

6/20/05 - "When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it
elsewhere."- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

6/27/05 - "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. There is no
Someday." - Unknown

7/4/05 - "Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic."- Dan Rather

711/05 - "If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we're going."- Professor Irwin
Corey

7/18/05 - "I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought:
What the hell good would that do?"- Ronnie Shakes

7/25/05 - "When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'"- Don
Marquis

8/1/05 - "A desk is a dangerous place from which to watch the world."- John le Carre

8/8/05 - "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."- John Lennon

8/15/05 - "Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories - those that
don't work, those that break down and those that get lost."- Russell Baker

8/29/05 - "Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is
no river."- Nikita Khrushchev

2/27/06 - "Where facts are few, experts are many." - Donald R. Gannon